Half way today!

Trogdor at the 18 week scan

Here he is looking like... well, every other ultra sound you've ever seen.
Having the photo is lovely but it doesn't give you a sense of the little personality we saw bouncing around inside me.
I wish I had a little video to show you just how busy he is in there. He played peekaboo with the scanner, tried to grab at his feet when ever the sonographer attempted to scan them and waved his arms up and down while she was trying to get a picture of his heart. Playing up for the cameras already - heh.

Lifetime -20 and the 13th floor

On Thursday Trogers will be 20 weeks. It's strange to think that in 20 weeks (really 18 weeks when you consider that 2 of those weeks was just waiting around for ovulation) Trogdor has grown arms, legs, a brain, kidneys, fingernails, a penis (other wise called 'that bit in between' by the sonographer), ears, eyes and the rest yet his 'life time' will only start to be counted once he exits the womb. But Spidermonkey and I have known him for going on 4 months. We've talked about him and to him. Our lives are already starting to change around him. It's like waiting for godot.

20 weeks is half way though. The average pregnancy lasts any where between 37 to 42 weeks with 40 weeks considered an average of the average. Which leads us to the greatest pregnancy myth of all time - the 9 month pregnancy. If some-one asked you 'how long is a month in weeks?' you'd say 'about 4 weeks', right? So, if a month is about 4 weeks and a pregnancy is about 40 weeks a woman is pregnant for about 10 months! The extra days that each month has does get you down closer to the traditional 9 month mark but no book on pregnancy actually counts calender months - most of them are in weeks with each 4 week increment being described as a month. As they get closer to the end of the pregnancy they start to have chapters like '9 Months and Beyond' because for some reason we don't talk about the mysterious 10th month. It's like the 13th floor - *scary whisper* there is no 13th floor!

The great cheese conspiracy

In the early months of pregnancy a woman is given a huge list of food you are 'allowed' and 'not allowed' to eat.

Foods you MUST NOT EAT IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BECAUSE YOUR BABY WILL DIE!
include (but aren't limited to):

raw meats such as sushi, seafood especially shellfish, rare or uncooked beef or poultry (does any-one think eating raw chicken is a good idea?), raw eggs, foods containing raw egg such as Caesar dressing, mayonnaise, homemade ice cream or custard, unpasteurized eggnog or Hollandaise sauce, soft cheeses such as blue cheese, feta, goat cheese, brie, cambert, Latin-American soft white cheeses, blue-veined cheeses, caffeine, alcohol, fish that is high in mercury (presumably it's fine for every-one else?), deli meats including hot dogs, liver, artificial sweeteners and raw sprouts.

And for the first 2 or 3 months you follow this list like it was handed down to you on Mt Sinai written on stone tablets. Until one day you start to wonder how any-one ever managed to have a baby in the first place.

My problem is the cheese - and some times the smoked salmon but mainly the cheese. I love cheese! The softer, the gooier, the smellier the better. Give me a soft, blue vein cheese with a smell that makes your nasal passages bleed and I'm in heaven. Or a goat's cheese feta. Or a Camembert served with port soaked raisins. Ye gods I love cheese. Anyway.

So why? Why have I been denied this simple calcium rich pleasure? In times of trial and temptation I tried turning to cheddar and I'll admit, the sharp taste of a decent vintage did satisfy me for a while but it was just recreational use. My addiction requires soft, pungent, mouldy cheeses.

The answer to why these foods are on the forbidden list is simple - listeria. Listeria is a virus which won't generally harm a healthy adult but can cause severe illness, if not death, in an unborn baby. Soft cheeses are made in such a way that any bacteria from unpasteurized milk won't be killed in the manufacturing process so listeria has the opportunity to thrive.

bacteria from unpasteurized milk

bacteria from unpasteurized milk

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find unpasteurized milk in Australia? Or how hard it is to buy a product that has been made with unpasteurized milk? It's nearly impossible. I would have to go out to the country, find a cow, sexually harass it myself and then figure out how to make blue vein cheese before I had the slightest chance of ingesting a listeria filled dairy product.

European cheeses might, might carry more of a risk as (apparently) they tend to use more raw milk in the production of cheese. So I'm not eating Roquefort. There's plenty of very decent home grown cheeses to tide me over coming in packs with ingredient lists clearly saying "milk (pasteurized)".

Guess what I've been eating this weekend?

For more info, if you're interested, try this link and this other link. (There was another very funny article that I can't find now but I'll link to it if I ever do.)

I'm not fat - I'm pregnant. (And fat)

This weekend I have heard over and over again - 'but you're not showing yet'.
No, I'm not showing but I'm starting to look like a bear getting ready for hibernation.
My hips are getting wider (yes, apparently it is possible, thanks for asking) and my waist is getting thicker (my waist! The only thing that stopped me from looking like a jam filled donut! It made me look like a jam filled donut with a rubber band around its middle) but I don't look pregnant.
I want out of this half way stage. I want to either have the classic 'swallowed a watermelon' look or not at all. Of course, I'll be sick of that too by the end.

The hills are alive

When I woke up this morning I found that Trodgor had hunkered over to my left side during the night. It was like a little mountain peak sloping down to the plains below...

I hope he moves more into the middle soon or all be spending my day walking in curves, dragged around my lopsided stomach.

6 Years and 19 weeks

Today Spidermonkey and I have been a couple for 6 years. On ANZAC Day 2002 we saw a movie, then went to a park and decided that why yes, we would like to see each other again.
6 years ago we really didn't know each other. We'd been out to dinner a few times, seen a few DVDs, built sets at the theatre but we weren't 'friends' before we started dating.
6 years later we have traveled together, bought our own place together and we have this

together.

SPOILER ALERT!!

First of all, and most importantly, Trogdor is fine.
And just a bit on the amazing side.
And a bit unearthly.
And very busy in there.

But with no more adieu in 6 months our family will be joined by a little:

(not a building)

(not a miniature palm tree)

(not a pet rooster)

(This is starting to look like the adieu I said we would do with out, isn't it? Still, I'm sure you can see where this is going. Let's have one more any-way...)

(not a pet rock)

I am proud to announce that Mumtotrogdor and Spidermonkey will be welcoming...

A SON!

18 week scan

My Mum came down over the weekend. It was lovely to see her and I really wanted to blog about how we had massages together, met this strange woman who insisted on telling us about her upcoming wedding/ crap toenails as developed through years of ballet/ battle with cervical cancer/ up coming operations/ 21 year old goth daughter, that Mum thinks the cat is a girl despite my certainty that the balls of fur hanging off the back are in fact furry balls and that Mum has offered to come down for up to three months after Trogdor appears this side of the womb. Surely, provided nothing horrible happens, I can figure out some form of parenting skills in three months.
But... all I can think about is the 18 week scan.
We will be finding out the gender and I will reveal it here mainly because I need a pronoun. If you do not want to know don't read this blog after Wednesday. Or talk to me. Or to Spidermonkey.

Most women will have a scan between 18 to 20 weeks, because at this time the fetus is large enough to be easily seen and so detailed assessment of many structures can be made.

For most women this scan will reassure them that their baby appears normal.

The scan can only assess the anatomy or structure of the baby, but in this way many of the common congenital abnormalities may be detected. In most fetuses spina bifida, cleft lip (hare lip), severe dwarfism, and major heart defects can be excluded. For a very small number of women the scan will identify a major fetal abnormality. However, even with the best ultrasound equipment not all abnormalities can be seen. In particular, developmental delays such as intellectual delay, cerebral palsy or autism cannot be detected.

It's routine. It's safe. And the majority of women will leave the doctor's office having been told their baby is perfectly fine.
And others don't.
But because it is routine and the risks of something being wrong are small there's no expectation that women (and when I say women I don't mean women, I mean me) will approach this test fearfully.
There's the fear of a vague something being wrong and then the much larger fear that we'll be told Trogdor has left us. I won't be attempting to deal with the latter fear in this post because, well, what can I say?*
And remarkably, it turns out that patting a pregnant woman on the arm while saying "it'll be fine" is not all that fucking helpful. You think it will be fine, I think it will be fine, every bloody person on every pregnancy board out there thinks it will be fine. But if every-one is so convinced that it will be fine, can some-one tell me why I'm having this test?
At least the people who say "there's no point worrying over something you can't do anything about" have honesty on their side - if not a great deal of compassion.
I told Spidermonkey I was nervous about having the u/s and he said exactly the right thing - possibly the only thing - "it's normal to feel like that." It's good to hear something that isn't based on what we'd all like to believe or some ridiculous advise like telling a mother not to worry about her child's health.
We can't know that everything is fine - no matter what the test says. And if the test comes back showing something abnormal then we can't know that every-thing won't work out for the best in the end.
The truth is that no test can reveal what a parent really wants to know. There isn't a scan that will tell you if your child will be happy.
Lots of people who have 'abnormalities' lead lives of fulfillment and purpose while lots of people who have every advantage are miserable bastards. Most people feature some-where in the middle no matter what their 18 week scan may have revealed. Of course, I'd sign up for an 18 week 'miserable bastard' test. Just 'cos.
If I might make some attempt to summarize this rambling mess of a post - I think that, despite my previous comments, it'll be fine and even if it's not fine then I think that in the long run it'll be fine and if it's not fine in the long run it won't be because of any thing we find out during an ultrasound.
Any questions?
Good.

* I can feel Trogers as I type this, twisting and turning and doing little backflips in secret. Despite this, I have a deep fear that it's my imagination, that I'm only pretending I'm pregnant.

12 week 'routine' tests

Baby ultrasound test 'dangerously inaccurate'

"The ultrasound screening test at 12 weeks is now considered a routine part of pregnancy but in a controversial interview with the Sunday program, Dr Hylton Meire says a Nuchal Translucency has a false positive rate of 95 percent."

"Dr Meire claims that the rate of false negatives for the Nuchal Translucency test is also high, with some 40 percent of Down syndrome babies not picked up by the test."

I will now be offering my own service to pregnant women called 'the coin flip'. Non-invasive with 50% accuracy it's on the cutting edge of maternal screening.

Out of the mouths etc 3.

The following conversation occurred in class this afternoon.

Patrick: I'm glad I'm a boy so I don't have to have babies.
Me: But you don't get to be a mummy either.
Patrick: But I get to be a daddy.
Me: Yes, but it's not really the same thing.
Patrick: But I get to drive monster trucks!
Me: Girls can drive monster trucks.
Patrick: (blank stare of incomprehension) But... don't they have to be sexy?

Out of the mouth etc 2.

A classic discussion of labour and birth from the 6 year olds in one of my classes. (Don't ask me how they started talking about this. I certainly didn't bring it up.)

Emily: I'm not looking forward to when I have to have a baby. The doctors cut you open to get the baby out.
Me: They don't do that all the time.
Emily: Yes they do! They have to cut your stomach open to pull the baby out!
Bella: No they don't.
Me: That's right.
Bella: The baby comes out the woman's vagina.
Me: Um...
Bella: The doctors put their hands up the vagina to pull the baby out.
Me: (slightly rattled by this stage) You know a woman doesn't need a doctor to have a baby. She can have one all by herself. That's what we're designed to do. (Incredulous silence from the munchkins) Let's play a game!

When I was 6 I think I had some vague idea that a baby came out of a woman's belly button - a bit like toothpaste perhaps?

Check out

Salad Days. The continuing adventures of Norah, Splog, Sprog and Dog make for wonderful reading. Spidermonkey gets to hear all about it every time there's a new post and now you do too - you lucky people.

What really happened when we went to hear the heartbeat.

Yes gentle reader, I have not been totally forthcoming with you in regards to what took place when Spidermonkey and I went to hear Trogdor's heartbeat.
What actually happened was this:
The midwife - a very nice woman named Jane - after asking me a wide range of questions (Yes, I am fairly healthy. No, I am not a drug addict, No, I am not crazy) got me to lie on the pseudo-bed thing every doctor's office has and had a feel of my 'belly' (I'm fairly sure I keep babies in my uterus but whatever). Then she got a look on her face. She did some more poking. She stared at me, then she stared at my 'belly'. She stared at me again.

My thoughts: Ohshitohshitohshit. There's nothing in there. I'm hollow. Trogdor's dead.
Jane: Are you completely sure of your dates?
Me: Yes. I was until just then.
Jane: It's just that you're measuring very large for dates. I would say you're 20 weeks pregnant. Or else there might be twins.
My thoughts: It's okay. IhaveababyIhaveababyIhavea... what the? Twins?!

Spidermonkey and I had joked about having Trogdor and The Cheat in there but not seriously. Nervously we listened to the heartbeat. We could only hear one but Jane said it was quite rare to pick up twins that way in any case. I remember I got very giggly. I was so worried I would be told that I didn't have a baby at all that I had never entertained the thought I might have two.

The few people we told about this were much more concerned than we were, I suspect. My thinking at this stage was that people have multiples all the time (well, maybe not all the time - it would be messy on public transport to start with) and they manage. I didn't honestly believe I had twins but I was a lot more inclined to accept that than accept that I'd made a mistake with my dates.

So, today we went into the hospital for a 'dates' ultra sound and the upshot is (drum roll please) my dates are fine and there's only one bub. Yeah... w00t.

While I was in there the woman doing the scan (Laine? Leanne? some-one) asked when I was coming in for my next u/s. I said I hadn't made an appointment yet.
Her: Can I ask why you haven't made an 18 week scan appointment?
Me: Couldn't be bothered/too lazy/busy (words to that effect). Does it matter it it's a bit late?
Her: We do like women to have the scan at 18 weeks so if there is a problem they have some time to think about what they want to do.
My thoughts: I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to have a baby.
Me: Well, we wouldn't terminate so that takes some of the pressure off getting it done.
Her: I'll go and see if I can make you an appointment now.

I'm sorely tempted to tell them to stick their next appointment.

The best thing to come out of this was that previously I'd been bemoaning my total lack of 'inner knowledge' regarding my pregnancy right up until the MW said to 'either your dates are wrong or you have twins'. I absolutely knew my dates were fine and I also knew I was only having one baby. Go the maternal instinct. It exists and apparently I have one. Who knew?

The taste that really satisfies

I've been disappointed by my lack of pregnancy cravings. As any female over the age of 10 could tell you a proper craving makes whatever it is you 'must-have-now-or-I'll-die' so much better when you finally get to have it. So in my mind, if a 'normal' PMS-y craving for chocolate makes a Tim Tam better by 3X then a pregnancy craving could make it better by, I don't know, 15X? That would make it better than just about ANYTHING else on the PLANET. A Tim Tam that was 15X better then any other Tim Tam you've ever had? Surely, this is the reason why people keep having babies.
So I've been a bit miffed that I've missed out on that aspect of pregnancy so far. However, I have been reading about other people's cravings (bless the internet) and there are cravings out there for things I didn't even think it was possible to crave. Forget the boring ones about dirt and metal shavings - these ones are a bit frightening. (I promise I have not made any of them up.)

I dont know what it is but I crave vicks vapor rub. I put it all over me before I go to sleep and just recently I rubbed it on my gums to taste it! I love it! is that weird? I also love the smell of Pine soil. I mop 3 times a day.

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second daughter. Throughout both pregnancies I've craved bubble bath - I've never drank it out the bottle but I have eaten the bubbles it creates in the bath every now and again!

I have had the strangest cravings for rubber and also tile adheshive, just anything that you really should not eat!!!

Since I saw someone washing their car I cannot stop thinking about chewing on a sponge, had to go and buy one today to chew on. Im not eating it, just chewing on it.

Toilet paper...talk about strange! (...) my body may be lacking something it needs...but what could toilet paper have that I need?

I'm not making fun of these women at all but it fascinates me that some-one's body will crave bubbles or sponges. I can understand dirt in the sense that maybe it has some sort of nutrient/mineral that the body might lack, but sponges? Really?

Out of the mouths etc.

A fortnight ago I told my Friday class I was expecting a baby.
Last Friday one of the boys ran in and wanted to know if I'd had it yet.

Umm... no. Not yet.

One of the girls was very indignant to find out that I was 15 weeks pregnant and I hadn't told them earlier. I tried to explain in kid friendly terms that losing a baby in the first few months is very common and that even at this stage 'being pregnant' is not the same as 'having a living baby at home with you'. She was quite perturbed by this information.

Of course, so am I.

Congratulations!

Congratulations to Phoenyx who announced her engagement to Caveman today!
Wishing you every happiness you crazy kids.

Blog news

Okay, Spidermonkey has been fiddling with the blog and found a cool option which enables people who don't use blogger to post comments.
Go crazy people. Or not. Either option is fine.

2 makes u LOL

Slinky Cat



Scarred for life cat

Week 16

The space dragon grows.

• Trogdor is probably 5.5 inches long and weighs around 6oz.
• Trogdor can grasp with his/her hands, kick and do somersaults
• There is enough calcium in his/her bones to show up on an X-Ray (if it wasn't a dangerous thing to do I would so want to do that!)
• Fingernails are well formed
• Legs are no longer than arms
  

Another interesting pregnancy fact

I read in some weighty tome that if you suffer an injury during pregnancy you might as well just get used to it as your body's priority is going to be on growing the baby rather than on healing itself.
My skin gets very dry and itchy during winter. Five days ago I was scratching my leg when the skin just split apart like tissue paper. The cut isn't deep but it is surprisingly long. Not only has it not even started to heal yet but I think it's begun to travel further down my leg - spreading like a crack in a windshield.
Surely this isn't fair. ("Welcome to motherhood," I hear my mum-friends say.) Seriously though, I'm growing an entire human being at the moment, albeit on a miniature scale, so why can't I grow my own skin back? I don't want to sound childish but I was in this body first!
Spidermonkey said he thought pregnant women would have super powers of rejuvenation and I have to say I agree with him. What happened to 'glowing'? At the moment any area below my knees looks leprous. Well, it's not like I was planning on strutting around in a mini skirt any time soon anyway. And may I add "hmph".

I just wanted to say...

I didn't think any-one was going to read this thing. Primarily I was writing it so that I could remember what it was all like when I'm the mother of a 3 year old and wondering what the hell I was thinking in the first place.
Secondly I had an idea that maybe Trogdor could flick through it at some point and find out that I haven't been who ever the hell I turn out to be all my life.
Seriously though, it surprises me every time some one mentions something I wrote in the blog. There's the momentary confusion of 'hang on, how did you know that?' before I realise - oh yes. The blog. (Which I always think of us Mumtotrogdor blog not 9 Months of etc. Stupid name. I wonder if it's too late to change it?)
So, just to get things straight - I am completely appreciative of, and indebted to, any one who has been excited and happy for us. Friends have sent us flowers, given hugs, phoned us, written e-mails and even read through this blog. 20 minutes after I wrote the stalking entry a friend rang from Japan (from Japan!) to make sure I was ok. People have offered to help with the baby shower, assist in moving house, make frozen meals after the birth and even drop off biscuits during the birth (hopefully I can score some of Tyd's shortbread that way. That stuff is seriously addictive).
I can't explain how important all the support we have received has been to me. That no one has said 'you're going to be a mother - are you kidding?' has meant a great deal.
I am immensely flattered that when people who know me hear me making comments about drinking at Trogdor's baptism, or using my child to get preferential treatment at U2 concerts, they give me the benefit of the doubt and laugh with me (or at least haven't called DOCS yet).
Sometimes I get a bit weepy thinking about how lucky I am and I haven't even started on the man himself yet - the fabulous Spidermonkey.
So yes, while random people can annoy (recent prize winner "You shouldn't drink coffee while you're pregnant. My mum drank coffee all the time when she was pregnant with me and she couldn't sleep"), books can patronize ("As soon as you suspect you're pregnant see a doctor immediately") and websites can baffle ("Make a nappy out of a bamboo flat with a booster") I wouldn't swap the people in my life for all the bamboo flats with boosters in the world (whatever they are).

The Circle of Life

On Saturday we celebrated a friend's 40th birthday. While we were there I caught up with a woman who I haven't seen for awhile who is also pregnant and a few weeks in front of me.
On Monday we heard Trogdor's heart beating at 157 beats per minute.
On Tuesday morning we attended Peter's funeral.

And so it goes on.

And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? (...)

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity (...)

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet : On Death

I will post mournful poetry if I feel like it. So there.

(Just be grateful I'm not inflicting any of my own poetry on you. With all these pregnancy hormones running around my system I'm sure some pretty awful poetry will bubble to the top at some point.)