I wish she hadn't said that...

I went to see my midwife on Monday. She's been great through the whole process and I do really like her BUT as she made me an appointment for next Tuesday she said 'but I don't think you'll make it'. Which is awesome, right? The Trog is ready and raring to go and Spidermonkey and I are looking forward to meeting our little burninator.
Well, initially I was very excited. Monday I called my parents to let them know they might be booking flights to Sydney soon. Tuesday I spent cooking so we would have at least a few meals for after the birth. Wednesday I spent running around sorting out last minute things for the classes I teach. And now it's Thursday... Thursday... (tick tock tick tock tick tock).
Up until then I was quite content to think to myself - could be now, could be 2 or 3 weeks from now (I was just on 39 weeks at that stage). Suddenly there is an expectation. It's ridiculous - she was just trying to be encouraging. There is no way she can tell when this baby will be ready to be born. But now I have performance pressure.
I'm the type of person who has trouble using public bathrooms if I know there is some-one in the stall next to mine who might be able to hear me. You want to add an extra 15 minutes on to my average 'toilet time'? - bang on the door and ask me if I'm going to be much longer. (Not that I'm suggesting any-one would want that - I'm just making a point) Now I feel like I'm on a four day limit to get the baby out. My cervix is welding shut as I type this, I just know it.
This may be a world first 11 1/2 month human gestation.

No, that's not too weird.

I wonder what Troggers will have for his sweet 16th?

I'm having a moment

Yes, I know I haven't posted in aaages! And I will catch up on all the baby stuff - of course there is every chance that Troggers will be with us by the time I get around to it but I needed to rant and I thought here was as good a venue as any-where else.

Background: There is a new national poetry prize called The Blake Poetry Prize. It used to be exclusively an art prize but this year they expanded to literature. Or 'literature'. First place is $5000. Count it people - that's more than some NIDA graduates make in a year. I did not enter this competition. I jotted down some notes here and there before I realized that I really don't know enough about what constitutes a poem these days to make a serious attempt*. The theme is 'Bliss, Blasphemy and Belief'.

This is the winner.

WTF?

Off the top of my head - is poetry anything that is too fucktarded to be considered prose? How can he be driving and be like the 'only still thing left on earth'? Is it possible that referencing Dante to lend gravitas to a poem is clichéd to the point that it actually achieves the opposite effect? What is happening in the tree world that they are both fraternal and avuncular? What the hell does this have to do with the theme? And, once more for emphasis, - WTF?

It's not a poem just cos the person who wrote it says it is.

BTW - this whole rant is a poem. Suck it.

* In retrospect, this may have been an advantage.

Out of the mouths etc 3

My midwife called during a class with the kids. The kids then wanted to know what a midwife was.
Girl: So you go to a hospital and the midwife helps you?
Me: Babies don't have to be born in hospitals of course.
Boy: Of course not. Babies can be born any-where. Babies can be born in caves. (Thinks about it) But then he'd have people pointing at him saying 'haha, you were born in a cave".

I don't know. I think it would be kind of cool to be born in a cave...

32 weeks

Only 8 weeks to go, assuming I have a 40 week pregnancy.
Apparently little Trogdor experiences REM sleep which means he might be dreaming. What does an unborn baby dream about? Fluid and distant sounds? Slight changes in the light? Does my heartbeat feature in his dreams? How could he even know the difference between awake and asleep?

How it's going...

Dates and numbers:
There are 59 days until your guess date.
You are 221 days pregnant.
You are 7.2 months pregnant.
You are in your 8th month of pregnancy.
Your 1st trimester: December 15, 2007 to March 14, 2008. (0 - 12 weeks)
Your 2nd trimester: March 15, 2008 to June 27, 2008. (13 - 27 weeks)
Your 3rd trimester: June 28, 2008 to some time in September. (28 - 40 weeks)

I have fiddled with some of the dates of course. I do have a slightly more 'accurate' EDD but apparently only 5% of babies turn up on the 'right' day so how accurate is that really?

I just want a happy, healthy plumber.

Since I last posted we have finally moved! I write this from our new living room surrounded by all the detritus we thought it was a good idea to pack. (Why, why do I need a purple bag full of tennis balls that don't bounce? Obviously at some stage I thought I needed them so I can't possibly throw them out...)
We are coming to terms with all the hidden responsibilities (and costs) of home ownership. I'm so used to ringing the agent to tell them what's broken, faulty or defective and then waiting months for something (or nothing) to be done. Now we can get whatever we want done very quickly but wow... it's not cheap.
Forget being a doctor or a lawyer I'm hoping Trogdor will feel drawn to plumbing. Possibly a locksmith...