And then this happened...

From the 12th of January:

*****

My last period was 29 days ago. Egg met sperm, let's call it, 14 days ago. This free floating bundle of little cells implanted 9 days ago thereby officially becoming a part of, or an addition too, my own body. Yet according to all the calculators I am 4 weeks pregnant. 1/9^th of my journey through bringing another little humanoid into the world. I have been with child for 28 full days.

Clearly this is nonsense.

*****

I have been putting off keeping a 'proper' pregnancy journal for... well actually, tomorrow makes officially 10 weeks. I have kept a few little notes here and there. Mainly things like 'feel sick', 'can't eat seafood', or 'doctors are fuckwits'. Nothing that you'd call comprehensive.

Yesterday was my first 'official' visit to my doctor regarding my pregnancy. I say official because the first time I went in to get a referral to the birthing center I am hoping to use, the doctor I got landed with - not my usual one - looked at my home pregnancy test, said "well, you're pregnant", failed to fill out any of the correct paperwork I needed, charged me $60 for something I already knew and sent me on my way.

This time they did all the 'necessary' tests. I was sent over to the nurses' station with a long list. Take blood, measure height, blood pressure this, weigh that - the general medical palaver.

They gave me a small plastic cup to urinate into and, thoughtfully, a brown paper bag to bring the container and sample back from the bathroom. There is a knack to peeing in a cup which, quite frankly, I don't have. I did discover that a) I am well hydrated and b) a cup of urine is warmer than I expected it to be.

I thought this sample would be sent off with my blood but no. Returning to the room the... tester? Pathologist? (male) Nurse? opened up the cup and stuck a strip of paper in. I could have just pee-ed on the stick to begin with. I have 5 hpts tucked away which attest to my aim, control and deliberation when it comes to stick peeing. I could enter the Olympics were such an event to be offered. (And it's gold for Australia...) Anyway.

So, eventually he tells me that I have leukocytes in my urine. Leukocytes, for us lay people, are white blood cells. "It might mean you have an infection", he says, "or it might not mean any thing at all." I may or may not have an infection? Well fuckideedodah. I could have told him that when I arrived and saved myself $60 and a self inflicted golden shower. It's like the cat locked in a box - is it alive? Is it dead? Has it peed in the cup yet? It's all very quantum. Eventually, he decided it probably didn't mean anything at all. Awesome.

By this time next week I will know if I have HIV, Hep C, immunization to chickenpox etcblahetc. Lots of fun.

And apparently as this pregnancy (hopefully) continues I'm meant to have similar tests every month. Every month! You'd think I was trying something new.