What to expect when you're 41 weeks pregnant

A growing sense of desperation.

The books give out after week 40. You've moved off the pregnancy map. You're now even further than the never mentioned 10th month. Here be baby eating monsters.

Even though every damn book you're ever going to read on the subject says that a baby is considered to be 'term' at any time from 38 - 42 weeks, as soon as you hit 40 weeks people will start asking you when you're going to be induced. (Answer: If and when it's medically indicated)
Most people, including a lot of medical professionals, would describe me as being post dates by 7 days even though, by their own definition of a full term baby, I should still have a week before I'm considered remotely over due. Not to mention that the average length of gestation for a first time mum is something like 41+3.

And it's frustrating and a bit depressing and you begin to feel that you're letting every-one down. Which is odd because surely this is something that really only concerns mother and baby?

This week has really not been the best for me actually (which I'm sure has been obvious to my nearest and dearest). It culminated in a full on wobbly/melt down on Tuesday which saw Spidermonkey staying home with me on Wednesday to make sure I a) was ok and b) didn't eat 14kgs of chocolate (isn't he lovely?) and my parents offering to fly 2000km to keep me company (aren't they lovely too?). I told them it wasn't necessary. By this stage I was beginning to feel like something of a tool. (What? I haven't had PMS for the better part of a year. I can have one outburst.)

So, I decided to try some acupuncture to see if it would get things moving. It hasn't but it was an interesting experience none-the-less.

A few notes -

I've heard it doesn't hurt. It does. It's not excruciating but it's quite unpleasant. He put a needle in my hand which paralyzed it for a while until I complained and he pulled the needle out a bit.

It's very weird to have some one push pins into you, attach a battery to some of them and give you mild electrical shocks while Chinese meditation music is playing. Any imaginings I had previously about pins and electricity featured either a prison torture scene or a lot more leather.

He gave me some sort of DIY acupuncture band-aids. They're little sticky squares with pins in them which I'm wearing on my hands and legs. I can push them and cause myself pain! Ahh, the fun never starts.

What to expect when you're 40 weeks pregnant

I'm pregnant bro. Pregnant as.

(This is pretty much what I feel like)

I wish she hadn't said that...

I went to see my midwife on Monday. She's been great through the whole process and I do really like her BUT as she made me an appointment for next Tuesday she said 'but I don't think you'll make it'. Which is awesome, right? The Trog is ready and raring to go and Spidermonkey and I are looking forward to meeting our little burninator.
Well, initially I was very excited. Monday I called my parents to let them know they might be booking flights to Sydney soon. Tuesday I spent cooking so we would have at least a few meals for after the birth. Wednesday I spent running around sorting out last minute things for the classes I teach. And now it's Thursday... Thursday... (tick tock tick tock tick tock).
Up until then I was quite content to think to myself - could be now, could be 2 or 3 weeks from now (I was just on 39 weeks at that stage). Suddenly there is an expectation. It's ridiculous - she was just trying to be encouraging. There is no way she can tell when this baby will be ready to be born. But now I have performance pressure.
I'm the type of person who has trouble using public bathrooms if I know there is some-one in the stall next to mine who might be able to hear me. You want to add an extra 15 minutes on to my average 'toilet time'? - bang on the door and ask me if I'm going to be much longer. (Not that I'm suggesting any-one would want that - I'm just making a point) Now I feel like I'm on a four day limit to get the baby out. My cervix is welding shut as I type this, I just know it.
This may be a world first 11 1/2 month human gestation.

No, that's not too weird.

I wonder what Troggers will have for his sweet 16th?

I'm having a moment

Yes, I know I haven't posted in aaages! And I will catch up on all the baby stuff - of course there is every chance that Troggers will be with us by the time I get around to it but I needed to rant and I thought here was as good a venue as any-where else.

Background: There is a new national poetry prize called The Blake Poetry Prize. It used to be exclusively an art prize but this year they expanded to literature. Or 'literature'. First place is $5000. Count it people - that's more than some NIDA graduates make in a year. I did not enter this competition. I jotted down some notes here and there before I realized that I really don't know enough about what constitutes a poem these days to make a serious attempt*. The theme is 'Bliss, Blasphemy and Belief'.

This is the winner.

WTF?

Off the top of my head - is poetry anything that is too fucktarded to be considered prose? How can he be driving and be like the 'only still thing left on earth'? Is it possible that referencing Dante to lend gravitas to a poem is clichéd to the point that it actually achieves the opposite effect? What is happening in the tree world that they are both fraternal and avuncular? What the hell does this have to do with the theme? And, once more for emphasis, - WTF?

It's not a poem just cos the person who wrote it says it is.

BTW - this whole rant is a poem. Suck it.

* In retrospect, this may have been an advantage.