MOCIT: So, congratulations on your news.
Me: Thank-you.
MOCIT: Was it planned?
Me: (pause) Yes.
MOCIT: Have you thought about what you're going to do?
My thoughts: Do? With my classes? With the labor? When the weight on my side of the bed starts to leave a permanent dent in the mattress? (I thought I'd line it with heavy plastic sheets and turn it into a fish pond)
Me: I haven't decided yet. I'm still considering my options.
Nicely vague. Smile and nod.
In other news I am finally starting to show. At least, I think I'm starting to show. I haven't had any comments yet but I've been staring at my abdomen intently over the last few days (weeks) and I'm sure there is a more protrudey bit (yes, I like my new word too).
Not so much a bear getting ready for hibernation as a bear in there.
And now I've weirded myself out a bit.
My concern is that none of the weight I have put on so far is actually 'baby weight' and is rather 'me using pregnancy as an excuse to eat like a pig weight'. Which means that by the end my 'after baby body' is going to be very similar to my baby's body - soft, squishy and unable to ambulate under its own steam.
I went looking for maternity bras today. Ye gods there are some horrendously ugly undergarments for the maternal frame out there. For the next 5-ish months I'm going to have a huge stomach hanging off me proudly proclaiming that yes, I got laid at least once - and never again if these brassieres have anything to do with it.
One of the girls in the teenage group asked me what the most annoying thing about being pregnant was. I didn't have to think about it - people telling me what I'm 'allowed' to do. (On the other hand when I do do these things other people's disapproval makes it that little bit more fun*.) (Adolescent behaviour? Me?) The class looked a bit relieved. I think they were expecting some pregnancy horror story. You won't be hearing them from me girls - but from dozens of women in your future. Just fall pregnant and wait.
*Just to clarify - I'm not going to inject heroin no matter how many people advise me against it. However, recently I was told that eating prawns would give Trogdor a birthmark in the shape of a prawn! How cool is that? I'm not even sure I can stomach prawns but I'm sure as hell giving it a go now.
Not so much a bear getting ready for hibernation as a bear in there.
And now I've weirded myself out a bit.
My concern is that none of the weight I have put on so far is actually 'baby weight' and is rather 'me using pregnancy as an excuse to eat like a pig weight'. Which means that by the end my 'after baby body' is going to be very similar to my baby's body - soft, squishy and unable to ambulate under its own steam.
I went looking for maternity bras today. Ye gods there are some horrendously ugly undergarments for the maternal frame out there. For the next 5-ish months I'm going to have a huge stomach hanging off me proudly proclaiming that yes, I got laid at least once - and never again if these brassieres have anything to do with it.
One of the girls in the teenage group asked me what the most annoying thing about being pregnant was. I didn't have to think about it - people telling me what I'm 'allowed' to do. (On the other hand when I do do these things other people's disapproval makes it that little bit more fun*.) (Adolescent behaviour? Me?) The class looked a bit relieved. I think they were expecting some pregnancy horror story. You won't be hearing them from me girls - but from dozens of women in your future. Just fall pregnant and wait.
*Just to clarify - I'm not going to inject heroin no matter how many people advise me against it. However, recently I was told that eating prawns would give Trogdor a birthmark in the shape of a prawn! How cool is that? I'm not even sure I can stomach prawns but I'm sure as hell giving it a go now.
2 comments:
Yes, welcome to the fun bit of pregnancy! You get to look through all the disgusting maternity bras and try and find one that doesn't remind you of a grandma! Just go with one that looks reasonable, is comfy and isn't exorbitantly priced! Just get used to the fact that anything related to having a baby is going to be ridiculously expensive!!(As you would've found out about wedding things too!)it's nice that you've finally 'popped' tho!!
That MOCIT sounds a bit strange. It sounds like the sort of comment someone would make to a teenager that got herself knocked up (because it only takes one person, you know ;P) and was considering adoption. Humph. You know, I'm afraid of saying anything to you now in case you take it the wrong way hehehe.
Hmmm...being pregnant not only sounds like a time in which vast amounts of people will really shit you, it also sounds like a time to play with peoples' minds. I wonder how long answers like "No, I'm not pregnant, just getting fat in a really specific place", "Pregnant? Impossible! I was born a man" or "It's actually a tumour and I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring it up again" will suffice. Cause you know I'm going to store up a few of those :P
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